Just as you’re in one place, going along, the earth shakes and everything moves and rattles and rolls. And as in the case of earthquakes, it keeps happening.
My university just announced that due to state budget shortfalls, they are going to have to cut up to 30% of the college’s budget, which means that my Department of Education will “probably” be ok, but it is on the list if the legislature plays hard ball- and even if it lasts this go-round, it might not last another one. That would mean that I’m out of a job. And we just moved here. We moved here so that my husband and I could work together. We moved here to have a new start. We moved here to find some roots. We moved here on the promise of stability.
My husband was out of a job for 6 months last year. We are buried so far deep in debt and indebtedness to far too many companies and family. We were enjoying being able to pay bills. Not going out to dinner, but at least paying bills. We were enjoying being in a community that, while different from our outlooks, is at least fantastic for our children.
My children, my children with special needs and a deep need for structure and stability, have been moved around the country far too often. That network of support that so many mommies have? Mine are 500 miles away. One in California, one in Colorado, one in Texas, one in Massachusetts, some in Virginia, some in New Mexico, one in…
I am trying not to panic. Luckily, I can teach in public schools- assuming there are any jobs. A teacher friend of mine with a master’s in reading was out of a job for 10 months this past year. I used to think of teaching- and teacher preparation- as a recession-proof job. No longer. And isn’t that stupid? To cut education means to cut the possibility of the future. If you don’t invest in people being ABLE to get jobs, how on earth is this stupid economy supposed to turn around?
Luckily, we’re not in crisis or panic mode yet. In my favorite movie, “The Princess Bride”, the Dread Pirate Roberts said to Wesley every night, “Good night, Wesley. Most likely I’ll kill you in the morning.” I feel a bit like that- waiting for the cuts to come.Our ground is rattling. We’re holding on to each other. And we’re trying to not let our children see how deeply we’re shaken. Now what?
My horoscope said on Tuesday, “Expect big news by Friday”. I guess it was right about that.
UPDATE: No lie. James and I went to a Chinese buffet for lunch today- our once-a-month treat. His fortune? “You have a big change today”. Clearly, the Fates saw it coming. I sure didn’t….